Log:Explorer's Guild: Hoth-y Hog-idays
Explorer's Guild: Hoth-y Hog-idays
OOC Date: December 12, 2021
Location: Hoth
Participants: Explorer's Guild: Maireni Lash and Corr Waldin; with Special Guest Stars Sar Yavok and Leith
"Well, I got some good news, and I got some bad news."
That's Corr, stepping down from the cockpit of his Headhunter, bundled up for winter cold and then some. It gets deadly cold on Hoth, and he's prepared for that at least. "The good news is, the flyby I did before I landed looks promising, lots of spore and tracks in the fresh powder." He cinches the wrapped scarf tighter to his face under the lined hood of his jacket. "The bad news is, I forgot all my gear. Turns out I left it in the Racnoss, and with this long haul out here being so long, I took the Bereft over there instead, so... I got nothin'," he finishes with a grin of chagrin, mostly blocked by the scarf, hands on his hips.
"But that won't stop us from success, anyrate," he assures the crew, snow already starting to cling to his clothing. "I'm sure the rest of you are crack shots. Expert hunters."
Stepping down the ramp of a ship that doesn't belong to him is SAR YAVOK. Replete in his dumb armor, the man turns his ruby viewports to look at Waldin, a grin peeling back beneath his helmet.
"I'm sure you'll do just fine, Waldin," Yavok offers by way of assurance, sliding his blaster out of its holster and giving it a few smacks before it hangs loose in his hand. "What're we hunting this time?" he asks, taking a nice long look at the great white expanse before them.
Maireni Lash is definitely not an expert hunter, but that fact based firmly in reality isn't going to stop her from believing that she is one. Reality has never, and will never stop a Lash. "Oh, yah," says the well bundled Ryn, puff muffed ears revealed briefly as the vigorous nod dislodges the slightly ill-fitting winter gear. "Yah, I'm real good at hunting. The best." Her knapsack is opened and from it she pulls a blaster, waving it around. "Soon as I see a hog, I'm gonna blast it!" And just to emphasize that claim, she faux fires and makes a 'pew' sound with her mouth. The only good thing that can be said about her brightly colored and consistently ill fitting outfit is that it'll be hard to lose her in the landscape. She'll be visible for miles. That might actually be a bad thing for the group as a whole.
Leith was here dressed in his trooper armor than a bit of minor scratches from the last time he showed up to a job, looked prestine. He got his helmet of the armor hooked to his belt. There's a bit of snow dusting his dark hair as he raises the camera he use to snap holo captures gets a quick picture of Corr with his explaination of the situation. "Uhm... I got a Dl-30 and the cannons on my freighter. I signed up to be a tourist again." He looks as he joins them. "Can I get picture?" He looks to the Lash, "And how many credits? 5 right?" That's for a picture of Maireni Lash in her armor.
All in all, it's shaping up to be a classic Explorer's Guild outing: Corr is unprepared but optimistic, Sar has arrived without knowing what they're actually doing, Maireni is a threat to herself and others, and someone that just thought it would be 'fun' is along for the ride. The only missing factor is Netep Muri's scholarly wisdom on the best cheap booze for students. "Now if we just had Muri here to give tips on which discount liquor fights frostbite," Corr mutters with a hint of DISAPPOINTMENT.
"Well, these Hoth hogs aren't gonna hunt themselves, tourist or not," he answers Sar and Leith in the same sentence, tugging a tidy daypack down from the ship and slinging it over his shoulders, setting off into the cold.
The path ahead is broad and flat, and there's very little 'path' at all. There's a wide open range of options, really, the snowflats stretching out in every direction. "Any of you got the eye for this sorta thing? You ever track somethin' aside from stormtroopers, Yavok?"
"Hogths," if you will. Always one for a lazy portmanteau, Sar turns to look toward the 'trail' and kicks a little at a clump of snow that explodes in a shower of wintertime fun. "No, not really," is his answer, looking back to the group. "Got my arm ripped off by a wampa once," he says, pointing at a cave. "Right over there."
Maireni keeps the weapon in her hand to ensure she can fire the moment there is something to fire at. Once again proving to be a danger to herself and the group. There's a large hard candy in her mouth that rattles against her teeth as she narrows her eyes and lets her gaze sweep the snowy landscape. "Uuuuummm, ay what's that," she points. There are marks in the snow. She narrows her eyes harder and studies the marks, because you never know when there might be traps, or curses. "Yah, that might be from one of those Hogths."
Maireni doesn't reapond with what she charges for a holocapture. So Leith snaps one any way. As Sar brings up mention of getting his arm ripped off by a wampa once and points at the cave. Leith snaps a holocapture of a Sar and the cave. He's totally not noticing tracks or anything. He though lifts up his binocs and looks through them, "Is that a couple of Old Imperial Walkers? How far are we from Echo Base? Is that thing intact?" He looks around. "Hogs? We're not looking for artifacts? Well Kriff." He says moving to follow along as Maireni says she found something.
"Media captured on an Explorer's Guild outing belongs to the Explorer's Guild, per the waiver you accept to attend these expeditions," Corr notes surreptitiously as he trudges through the snow, plowing along and leaving a deep trail in the powder behind him. The snow up ahead, though, has more solidity to it, a crust that doesn't immediately fill in like sand, and it's there where Maireni has spotted tracks.
Squinting against the star's rays bouncing off of the white ground cover, Corr gives a reluctant nod. "I think Maireni's right," he allows with some trepidation at giving air to that statement. "See just there?" He points, a gloved finger tracing a faint string of impressions in the distant snow. "Let's get closer."
Walking further reveals the string of impressions to be, in fact, a trail of tracks. Complicating matters, however, is the meeting of the tracks with another set coming in perpendicular, and long tufts of fur, both grey and pale, nearly-white, strewn around the meeting point. The tracks converge into a single set as they lead away, curving towards the cave Sar indicated.
"Quick question, though," Sar begins, following along behind them with his pistol at the ready. "/Why/ are we hunting the hogths?"
"Like...they can't be like encroaching on any settlements? Ain't a damn settlement to encroach," the Corellian muses, his shoes thankful for the more solid-feeling ground. "You just have a score to settle? Gray get eaten by 'em while I was gone?"
Being cautious of building up confidence is Maireni's word is smart, because no one should trust her words. No matter how assured she sounds. "Yah, see," she points at the tracks again. "Knew I found the right place." The candy rattles in her mouth a bit more before there is a more permanent crunch, marking the demise of said candy. "We gotta hunt 'em because they taste good, yah? Or are they real valuable?" She has no idea, but she came to this last year, so she's here again.
"These holocaptures are copyrighted by the Explorer's Guild for the private use of our members and guests. Any other use of broadcasts or any holocaptures, descriptions, or accounts of the expedition without the Explorer Guild's consent is prohibited." Leith says as he follows along, "Don't worry, these are for my private use. I'm not going to turn them over to any hutts, government, or start my own rival organization." Leith says as he takes a holocapture of one of the prints. Leith shrugs, "Do you guys just kill stuff and eat it? I figured it was for wealth and fame. Just the story of doing something Kriffing awesome." He stops and produces a thermos and pours himself a cup caf in the little metal cup. Then tips it up. "Ahh.. Nice and warm."
"I got a guy who pays good money and the way I see it, it ain't hurting them none to take a couple hogs once every two years, on this barren rock," Corr replies, somewhat defensively, at the question of why they're hunting these hogs to begin with. "It's different than poaching, it's /legal,/ on account of nobody's got any law out here." His hands are back on his hips now. "Sometimes you just gotta pay the rent at Parmac's, yeah? We all got bills."
Corr's raised voice travels well on the snow, and so does the low rumbling 'RAAAAAAAAAAGGHHH' that echoes out of the nearby cave, or at least it seems to originate from there. He glances sharply that way, reaching for his pistol that isn't there. "That's not a Hoth hog. We're here for Hoth hogs, we can keep walking."
"Are you running my business into the ground, Waldin?" Sar asks, before his attention is snatched by the rumbling call. "I'm pretty sure they killed that Wampa after I passed out from blood loss. I mean they had to, they got my arm back," the man reasons, looking between the lot of them in an attempt to get them to reassure him. They for sure killed that cyber wampa. Right?
It takes a good few minutes before something clicks into place in Maireni's brain, but she swings around to look at Corr and Leith. "Ayy, if he pays you for a snap of me you gotta split the profits!" She never does mention how much she charges, but she knows she looks good and is totally used to having her picture taken. Many of those pictures are mug shots, but details don't matter. The RAAGH is enough to make her jump and skitter back to Corr, fully prepared to use him as a shielf if she must.
It seems that no one here really cares that this might be illegal, especially Leith. He looks at Corr, "Do we need to have some paperwork drawn up? Would you like something offical looking? Would that make you feel better? I can do offical New Republic, First Order, Hutt Cartel, Corellian. Alderaan and Sith are a bit out of my league. But I can whip something up for a price." Then He looks to Sar, "I have several questions, starting off with why would somebody attach Cybernetics to a Woompa and then just turn it loose. I mean if you told me that a Hutt owned him and we we're on Nal Hutta. I'd understand. Our glorious overlords are kriffing insane." Then he looks to Ms. Lash, "Uhm... That's between you two?"
"It's not ILLEGAL!" Corr yells, then quiets himself down as he remembers the roaring from the caves. "It's not illegal, and there's no such thing as cyber-wampas," he repeats more quietly from behind his scarf-mask, looking up towards the sky for some sort of inspiration, or with resignation, or perhaps hoping for a bolt of lightning to strike him dead, it's hard to tell.
While Corr is having his moment of existential angst, there are a number of Developments.
Development #1: a tall, shaggy white-furred figure has appeared in the mouth of the cave. It is gesticulating wildly with long arms and does not seem friendly.
Development #2: a number of dark spots on the horizon are approaching from the other direction. As they solidify into visible shapes, it becomes clear that they are, in fact, a trio of large hogs, vicious tusks poking from the sides of their mouths, heading towards the Explorers.
Corr remains unaware of these developments, having now turned his attention down at the snow with the air of someone about to say "Look" and launch into a cavalcade of complaints.
"Look-" 'RAWWWWWGH' 'SQUEEEEE'
The wampa and the Hoth hogs begin to run.
"Abandoned Imp project. They got up to all kinds of stuff," is Sar's answer to Leith. "Corr doesn't know what he's talking about, but that's nothing new," the man explains.
WAMPA! Sar's arm starts to tingle with the worst possible sense memory and he lifts his gun. Caught off-guard, the man just starts firing huge bolts of plasma out of the handcannon. "Waldin! Focus up!"
"They're coming right for us!" Leith yells as they get rushed by the Hogs and the Wampa. He'd once heard yelling that before opening fire made it legal to hunt anything cause it was you vs. the beast. That and with Corr arguing that this was legal, Leith wanted all the protection he could have. He drops the camera and pulls his Dl-30. He raises the unmodified blaster and fires wildly at the Hogs ... and hits snow. He calls out, "The Imperials created Cybernetic Wampas... Those guys were into some kinky stuff. Where's a best place to shoot a wampa?"
Corr is not the most intelligent man in the galaxy. Forgetful, distracted, these are all things he's become in the last several years since leaving a part of himself behind to find a new part, and the jury is out on whether that's actually been an improvement or whether there's really some sort of slow rot going on in his brain that's just flat-out deteriorating his sensibilities.
That's neither here nor there.
What is here are the Hoth hogs, and what is there is the wampa.
The hogs, on four legs, are faster than the wampa on two. This is just basic math. And so as the battle is joined it occurs first by hip-height boars charging in amongst their feet, tusks yellow and fierce. Like bees, which are yellow and fierce.
One clips Maireni, and Corr finally pulls himself out of his three page rant about waivers and legality. "Krif." The missing pistol is still missing, but he pulls a pair of metal knuckles from his pockets instead and lunges at one of the hogs, trying to grapple it but simply being knocked aside and lucky he wasn't gored too. "We're in a tight spot," the explorer finally decides aloud.
"Waldin! I thought you were joking!" Sar calls out, standing his ground against Wampa in direct contrast to his better judgement. The blaster barks out three more rounds and two of them dig into the mighty beast's hide. Sar's off-hand whips back to the throwdown holster hanging on the back of his belt and he slides a pistol free before tossing it underhand in the general direction of Corr. Hoth is very much a one-trick pony when it comes to threats, and Sar is really getting sick of that trick.
Maireni is very busy trying to pull another piece of candy out of her bag, the motions having an urgency to communicate that she knows they're in a tight spot, but not so tight a spot that she can't try to get a wee treat in first. The attempt for sweets is foiled, however, as she's clipped by a hog and the recently acquired candy goes flying. "AAAAH!" she protests as a gash is opened in her hand. "THIEF!" she shrieks, like the true hypocrite she is, then fires her blaster at the hog wildly, missing every shot like the true hunter that she is.
Leith is firing away at the Wampa as the hog misses him. Its only on his third shot does he connect dawning on him he's firing on Stun. He flicks the toggle of his blaster to kill. "It's set to kill now! Last person I shot at, I was only trying to maim them and forgot!"
"Why the hell would I joke about that?" Corr demands, shirking those knuckles as quickly as he pulled them out when Sar tosses the blaster his way. It lands in the snow and the explorer grabs it up, immediately leveling on the wampa and BLASTING. One shot actually connects, the other two go wide just as the ferocious cave-dweller descends on Sar.
The big creature goes straight at the crusty captain of the Dusty Jawa 17(?), its tiny little eyes clearly signaling the deepest evil ever manufactured by mother Nature, or at least as creative as she got on this snowglobe. It seems like it's going after that arm, like it /knows./
The others have the hogs running hogwild to contend with, tusks too dirty to flash but still being waved about with reckless abandon. One scarfs up Maireni's candy, lets back its head to squeal its triumph to the sky, and with a wrapper still clamped between the grinding nubs of its teeth, it charges, head down.
The wampa slaps Sar down to the ground with a meaty paw before lifting him into the air. Hoisted up by said arm by the Wampa, a grunting and largely upset Sar levels the barrel of his blaster at the creature and pumps three bolts straight into its dumb chest until it thinks better of that plan and drops him.
Collapsing into the snow, Sar rolls onto his stomach and begins to claw himself along the ground away from his own personal nightmare fuel.
Maireni has been hurt, and worse yet, robbed! The candy is gobbled up and she lets out what she would like to imagine is a shriek of rage, but in reality it's more an indignant tootalooo through the flute like instrument on her nose. She raises her blaster to fire on the candy thieving hog again, leaving the boys to deal with the other angry issue. She has beef with this hog. Before she can fire she's hit again, harder this time, a whiny "OOOOW OW OW OWWWW" escapes before she, from her spot on her back om the ground, she fires her blaster again. And just as badly.
Leith quickly realizes that both Sar and the Wampa are having a moment and he doesn't want to get in the middle of that. It's a beautiful thing and one does not want to ruin. There's blaster fire, there's blood, there's sharp claws. Their might even be peeing but we will never know cause of the cold turning it into icecles. He calls out to Sar, "Hey man, you survive this. I can come up with ya bump of giggle dust." Then he turns and opens fire at the hogs yelling, "Come and get it. I don't got any candy but I got blaster bolts and I'm cold."
The situation continues to evolve or devolve, depending on one's perspective. The wampa, smoking from the chest, drops Sar before stumbling forward to swing long, furry arms in a rage at him, trying to crush that gun of his or stove in his head, whichever the creature can make contact with first.
The Hoth hogs are fast, just small enough to be annoyingly maneuverable, and mean. They cut in and out of the little band, and one even takes a wild swing at the wampa, but the epic standoff between Maireni and hog continues, with that one with the wrapper charging her again in spite of the thumping hits it takes from Leith in the process, SQUEEEing its dismay. The scent of hard candy is in the air, though, and it continues to attack.
Rolling onto his back with an assurance that he's definitely far enough away from the-OH GOD THE WAMPA IS RIGHT THERE. Sar's blaster shrieks again and sends a bolt straight into the wampa's maw, causing a shower of blood and offal to rain down on him and the snows around. With some quick thinking and a stim-packed bloodstream, Sar rolls out of the way of the crashing wampa and fires sort of in the direction of the hoth hogs. "I don't know what giggle dust is!"
Maireni is only starting to get back up again when the angry squeal and the now ominous scent of candy warns her of another oncoming attack. BAM, hit again, sent flopping to the ground again. "I've got to have a curse!" she wails to the heavens above, then rolls onto her side and rapid fires three shots at the mean, mean beast. The first two miss, because she's just not that good at shooting, but the third is lucky, and BAM. The mean ole candy biter is dead. With that she flops back into the snow and takes a brief rest.
Leith fires a shot at one of the Hoth hogs. "This is alot of energy to be expending on a cold planet with all this running. That must be some good candy?" Leith says ejecting his spent blaster pack. Then he pulls another one from his belt and slams it into place firing a couple more shorts. "Kriff If I know either. I was legitmately carrying it from one place to another. I have the legal manifests. It had a intresting name. I figured they wouldn't miss a bump or two. So I could find out why they call it Giggle dust. I got a feeling I know." The last shot hitting a hog a new one since Maireni killed the one causing all the trouble.
Who is Leith? Corr finally takes a moment to wonder now, with these loud attestations of legality and giggledust, and for the first time it occurs to him to question the Explorer's Guild policy of 'anyone who will sign the waiver.' "Who are you exactly?" he's saying to Leith before remembering about The Hog Problem.
The reminder is the way that the big hogs dive at his comrades, specifically Leith and Sar, Maireni having earned herself a break.
With the borrowed blaster in hand, Corr grips the wooden grip and draws a quick bead on the hog that attacked Leith, given that he was already facing the man, and pulls the trigger. There are three large, satisfying POOMs from the boomstick, and two of the generated bolts connect, sending the critter sprawling into the snow. The last of the hogs runs squealing for the cave, which appeared to be their original destination anyway.
"I gotta get me one of these," Corr mutters, staring appreciatively at the blaster and pointedly NOT tucking it into his pants. Looking around at the carnage, he nods to the others. "Everyone in one piece? That's one way to do a hunting trip. We'll drag these back to the ships and get on out of here." The pistol is extended back to Sar, his gloved hand now holding the barrel. "Thanks for the loan."
"Just steal one off of a Naboo guardswoman like I did," Sar says, standing up off of the ground and dusting the snow off of himself before he takes back his offered loaner pistol. It's given a quick glance-over before it's tucked back into its holster. He takes a deep breath and runs a hand over his scratched-up breastplate before he looks towards Maireni and Leith. "Well? Where's my drugs?"
Leith was in the middle of trying to get a holocapture of himself and the killed hog. It was definitely a selfy situation. It was all good till the remaining hog rushes up and eats Leith's camera. The crazy thing probably thought it was hard candy and bit Leith's hand in the process. The Wroonian wraps his hand up with a rag. He looks to Sar and the Maireni then back to Corr, "I'm the guy who shot the first hog and signed the waiver." He looks back to Sar, "It's on my ship." He says producing his thermos and a flask, "Is this why tactical gear has sooo many pockets. Places to stash booze?" He then adds some booze to his caf, "That's warming the toes up."
"Fair point," Corr replies grudgingly, reaching down to grab a hind leg on each of the pigs. It seems fair given his status and everyone else's. "Someone get this man some giggledust and put him on any ship but mine," he says of Sar, and starts dragging hog.
