Log:Growing Pains
Lira'una goes to seek advice from her Master...
OOC Date: April 17, 2023
Location: Tempes
Participants: Lira'una, Qutha Buvu Pah
Noprai Falls Summit - Crusader Valley, Tempes
The summit of the mighty falls is a sight to behold. They are 100 feet high, and pour rushing white water over their edges down toward the pool at the base. The sound of the water spilling over the ledges is nearly deafening to onlookers who get too close. The water is quite cold too, and not ideal for swimming. It is a beautiful sight, but also quite intimidating.
The water rushes to the east where it enters a wide river that spills in to a huge lake that is surrounded by the trees of the local forest woodlands.
There are signs of old technology along the river edges, specifically setup for fishing and the acquisition of rare minerals coming out of the mountains and flowing over the falls.
It is a common sight to see the local 'Horned Bantha' species here coming to the river edge to drink and enjoy the cold water. They are a massive beast, with shaggy dark brown and white fur patterns.
What an absolutely /gorgeous/ day for fishing!!... said Lira'una not one single time in her entire life.
It wasn't that she didn't like the idea of fishing, catching fish, eating fish, or having fish as pets, even. She didn't like /fishing/ . Sitting still and holding pole with a line leading into a body of water while waiting for some dumb animal to come up and bite a sharp metal object was /basically/ punishment. Like, if it was between going fishing for an hour or just going and cutting her own switch... well, there would be pro/con lists involved.
And yet.
Qutha's departure on Nar Shaddaa had left an impact on her. Not so much the departure as what he said /right before/ his departure -- that her behavior was a reflection of his training. It had left her basically speechless. And anyone that knows Lira at all /knows/ what a feat that is.
With Cadogan having taken his leave, too, it left the young Twi'lek with time to think. And so that's what she'd done. She didn't practice her acrobatics (which is what she'd been doing when Cadogan found her). She didn't go find someone new to talk to (which is what she'd been doing right before Cadogan found her). She just found a bench next to a pond and sat. For hours.
Self-imposed punishment? Maybe. Trying to /force/ herself to 'meditate' as if /that/ was something she could just decide to do, like deciding she was going to cartwheel? Probably. Did it work? Not even a little.
And so, hours after staring at a pond and watching the little creatures swim around, she'd gotten up and... left. Not left the garden. Left Nar Shaddaa. And once she was in hyperspace, she changed.
Gone was the lavender jumpsuit with its gossamer thread and silvery cape. Instead, she chose a darker, more outfit -- a long sleeved, wine-colored top that bared her midriff and matching leggings, soft black boots rising up to her knees. She left her stun baton in the lockbox, clipped the stunsaber to her hip, and pulled on her Jedi robes for only the forth or fifth time in her life.
It was time to start taking it seriously. All of it.
It was... surreal, the first time she'd landed on Tempes and been introduced to the Jedi Order. It was like being accepted to a university she'd never applied to. For /so/ many reasons, /no one/ there was like her. Even the younglings that had started their training years ago didn't have the same carefree spirit. At first, she didn't understand why. It had felt like a mistake. Surely /she/ didn't belong here. And that was terrifying. Not because she worried what they might do to her, but because she /wanted/ to belong.
It was so much easier and so much safer to run back to Nar Shaddaa than it was to risk failure.
But she /was/ failing. And it wasn't Qutha's fault. Whatever self-doubt she might have allowed to run rampant, she wouldn't allow Qutha's reputation to be ruined over her own personal fears. She had, quite obviously, adopted the old farmer as part of her family... and that's not how she treated her family.
Once Lira landed her Lambda shuttle, it had taken only a few questions around the outpost for her to get some ideas of where to find Qutha. Clad in the warmth of her hooded robe, the lavender-skinned girl set out to find her Master at his fishing hole.
It was, after all, a gorgeous day for fishing.
The fishing hole at the riverside was a preferred place for the Zelosian for a number of reasons. While not a fan of fish, himself, the small avians he had cared after for nearly two decades were. A species native to islands and oceans where eating small grains and fish were key to their food supply. So catching more of their preferred food was part of 'chorin when on Tempes.
The volume of the falls, even when distant enough to not require shouting to be heard, was a white noise that caused hindrance when attempting to clear ones mind. Ideal situations weren't the desired for practicing patience, concentration. So it shouldn't be a surprise that the wandering mystic would go where there were a hundred distractions for one's concentration would be at a constant.
He was floating, quite literally, over a large stone, mossy and practically formed by nature to be a seat. Around him small stones, bits of plant matter and his BD droid were orbiting in a slow, graceful, loops around Qutha. Within arms reach of him, his pole also hung in the air - held as if gripped in his hands.
His expression is peaceful, eyes closed his hands resting on his knees while he drifts on the currents of the Force, voice rising as the young twi'lek nears, voice carrying despite the sounds of the falls and river, "Hello, Lira. Come join me."
The fishing hole at the riverside was a preferred place for the Zelosian for a number of reasons. While not a fan of fish, himself, the small avians he had cared after for nearly two decades were. A species native to islands and oceans where eating small grains and fish were key to their food supply. So catching more of their preferred food was part of 'chorin when on Tempes.
The volume of the falls, even when distant enough to not require shouting to be heard, was a white noise that caused hindrance when attempting to clear ones mind. Ideal situations weren't the desired for practicing patience, concentration. So it shouldn't be a surprise that the wandering mystic would go where there were a hundred distractions for one's concentration would be at a constant.
He was floating, quite literally, over a large stone, mossy and practically formed by nature to be a seat. Around him small stones, bits of plant matter and his BD droid were orbiting in a slow, graceful, loops around Qutha. Within arms reach of him, his pole also hung in the air - held as if gripped in his hands.
His expression is peaceful, eyes closed his hands resting on his knees while he drifts on the currents of the Force, voice rising as the young twi'lek nears, voice carrying despite the sounds of the falls and river, "Hello, Lira. Come join me."
This life, walking up the trail to the summit of the falls, was at once /so/ similar and /so/ different to the one Lira'una used to know. /Running/ along a rural path to go dive head-first into some water that was /far/ too cold for her was nothing new. Going and exploring, finding friends hiding in a forest was nothing new.
Making the trek to find an old(er) man literally floating in the air, being orbited by... was that his /droid/ ?!... and so much else was... well, this was new. It wasn't like she'd never seen things float, before. Hell, he'd made /her/ float from a ship into the middle of a combat zone. If /that/ wasn't concentration, she didn't know what was. But as she walked slowly up to where he was sit-floating, she seemed unsure how to approach. Or even /if/ she should approach.
Lavender hands lifted from the over-sized sleeves of her robe and nudged the hood back, letting it fall limply behind her. A moment later, her lekku slithered their way out, escaping the confines of the material.
Qutha's voice, when it came, seemed to surprise her. He obviously hadn't seen her, and that brought a little laugh from her lips -- she'd have to add that to the list of things she still didn't understand.
"I hope I'm not disturbing you," she says, her voice as warm and respectful of the man's time and status in her life, but more subdued than her usual rush-and-hug enthusiasm. Still, a smile lingered there at the corners. She was more nervous in this environment than she was in the familiarity of Nar Shaddaa or even the excitement of a heist. Here, she couldn't rely purely on adrenaline and caf to get her through the day.
Graceful steps carried her forward tentatively to just outside the orbit of his debris cloud.
"It's beautiful up here."
Drawn from his meditations, he began to descend and the things caught up with him drift down as well - the droid seeming to tweedle moodily one it was no longer floating. Letting himself come back down to a sitting posture, calling his pole to his hand to keep it from falling and potentially dragging off into the waters, Qutha looks up at Lira with brows lifting.
"Why'd y'be disturbin' me?" head canting to the side while motioning with his free hand for her to come sit. "It's sure a b'yoot, ayuh." looking out at the river "I spent more time here'n aught elsewhere on this world... There's sun, n'water... I ain't need much else." looking back to her now, expression peaceful and bright.
"How've y'been since we last spoke? Questions brimmin' I s'pect?" studying the clothes, the wearing of the stunsaber, "I'm here to answer, as best I kin."
Oh Bother waddles up to where Qutha sits, kicking his leg gently and whistling at the old mystic until the orchardist sighs, taking a breath and the droid bobs into the air with a delighted sound
That girlish laugh -- the one that's birthed a billion faeries in her lifetime, if some myths are to be believed -- bubbles out when the droid kicks and then merrily floats back up into the air. Lira's blue eyes watch that scene for a moment before she answers, still grinning, that glint more than suggesting that she wondered if she could get away with asking for the same thing. Floating, after all, /had/ been fun. And maybe she wouldn't even get shot, this time.
"I don't even know where to begin," Lira answers, that smile lingering on her lips as she finally jumps up to the top of the rock and finds and place for herself, spinning as she sinks into a crisscross seated position to keep her robe from behind caught underneath her.
"Ever since then, I haven't been able to stop thinking about what I've been doing. And.. /why/ I'm doing it." She draws in a breath slowly and looks down at her legs, picking off a piece of grass and tossing it aside. "What you said really... it made me face a lot of the things I'd been putting off, you know? Trying not to give up my past. Being too afraid of failure to try something new."
She laughs softly. "I'm only eighteen, and I was one of the best -- at least, one of the best I knew -- in my troupe. I worked /so/ hard to get there. But this is... starting over. Knowing that there are ten-year-olds that are better at this stuff than I am. That /know/ more. It's..." She swallows, looking back up. "I let my ego get in the way."
There's a little shake of her head, then. "How do I... start? The right way, I mean? I can /feel/ it. The Force. /Sometimes/ I feel it more than others. I haven't been able to figure out why."
"Fear's ver'natural... I'us afeared when I first joined th'Order." eyes closing as though he were being caught up in a meandering stroll through his own past, the fishing pole held so that his hands can be folded in his lap as he begins to truly talk, "Ain' no 'right way', so's t'speak, Lira." emerald eyes opening and focusing on her blues.
Head inclining towards her, or perhaps its the world around her. Maybe both and none. Qutha's features are gently frozen in the content pleasantness that maybe is most fitting for the rustic manner he speaks, "All's us learn differ'nt... Yu's gets the information an then yer finds how t'unnerstan' it." one hand releasing the fishing pole to sweep all encompassingly. "I reckon yu's been told of how's Th'Force surroun's all'a us. Bindin' from th'stone, t'the fish in th'river, 'tween you's 'n'me." chuckling, "So's I ain' gonna try'n be redundernt." reel ticking softly with a testing partial reel.
"Fear ain' the way t'go... But yu's know that. But fear kin makes y'resent, y'self, what y'personify whats yer afraid'a... Resent'll make y'hate. Make yer angry. Directionless as y'try t'fin' what ter do t'punish whatcha think hurt you. It spirals." smile growing a little sad now, "So's like fear, likes when we talked a'fore... Y'gotta learn t'rec'nize when emotions is happenin' when they's emotions and when they's becoming dangerous close t'rulin' yu's an not simply bein' part of your life, y'day t'day... Takin' y'out of the moment and outter focus."
"So's... one mean t'start... Think on how's y'feelin'... Which yer seem t've done on y'own." Qutha's grin shifting, slightly, as if pleased. "N'figger how you need t'take yer next steps..." the little grin growing, "Seems y'started doin' aught... eh?"
It was so long ago that Lira had learned to cartwheel that she couldn't even remember how difficult it had been -- or if it had been difficult at all. She'd been a child, just out of walking. She'd never been able to sit still, even back then. But she could remember what it was like when she learned staff spinning, the first time lit it on fire. She could remember what it was like lose her grip and fall from the aerial hoop. Over and over again. She had to keep reminding herself that stumbling was part of it. Being afraid was part of it. Mastery of anything was difficult.
These conversations always seemed to help with that -- reminding her, giving her fresh perspectives, making her think about things in new ways.
"The fear got better when I went back to Nar Shadaa," she says. "I thought the familiar helped. And it did, until, yesterday, I realized... it wasn't that I'd gotten over it. I just wasn't facing it."
Apparently pleased with herself, her smile warms when Qutha suggested she was already starting to do what she needed to do -- figure out for herself what the next steps were. "I have to admit. Making the decision to come back here and find you... it felt... right. More right than anything I've done in a long time. And, I didn't even figure out that's what I needed to do until I just.. sat."
Another soft laugh escapes. "I must have been there for hours, just staring at the water. You told me that my actions were going to reflect on you and I just..." She shrugs. "I guess it made me realize how important it is to take it all more seriously."
Her lips purse thoughtfully.
"That thing that Cadogan and I were talking about, before... I heard that some people were going to sneak into a Sith outpost and steal some ID cards. For smuggling people out of Sith captivity, you know?" She shrugs. "It felt so good at least to help a little on Phylos. And I.. I just really wanted to do that again. Cadogan..." She laughs. "He wasn't even part of it. Wrong place, wrong time. He was trying to boost a speeder while the rest of us were breaking in. I'm not even sure he got his speeder out of it. But the guy that set up the heist... he's asked me to do another one. Robbing an armored hovercar."
No question asked, yet, she just lets that hang in the air for a moment.
"How am I supposed to... /be/ a Jedi?" she asks. "Is helping the Rebellion a /good/ thing? Does that /include/ robbing armored hovercars? Am I /supposed/ to be carrying this stunsaber around? What am I supposed to do if I actually /need/ it?"
The burning questions were beginning to trickle out, finally, but with it came a wave of anxious frustration. Letting out a breath, her eyes shift back to the rock she sits on and one hand lifts from her lap. She presses her palm towards a little stone not very far from where she's sitting -- not much bigger than the little cube of a die. Focusing on the rock, she intentionally tries to calm herself.
"Th'Force often speaks t'us, but we're t'loud t'hear it... more'n mos'a us wanna admit." gaze on the stone she has put her focus on, watching patiently while he speaks, "How're y'suppos's t'be a Jedi?" one corner of his mouth creeping up a little higher, "There'nt a sing'lar answer t'that. Bein' a Jedi is a whole mess'a things, all at once. Bein' aware've what's the right thing t'do... but also min'fulla balance. Push down the Dark an' it'll swing back. Th'Force is Balance, n'we're the agents'a such... Same as the Sith. No good without evil, no Light without Dark... So's y'gotta know that we's workin' forever. T'contest when evil rises, we contend it... we care when others is callus."
The sadness returns to his expression and the look in Qutha's eyes is years and parsecs away, "We don' look fer what's innit for us, which I think a fair num'er of us who's not wit'us now... they's forgot that, which's why they's gone." jaw working and his face lengthening for a small eternity as the memories run across his mind and expression. A wave of the loss felt rolling off of him like a fog tumbling in off of cold waters pushed by warm winds.
"Others may have a diff'n opinion, which is good. We's need differ'n opinions, mind, but I's think it best t'lissen. Th'Force'll guidja, letcher know where y'need t'go. Likes when you was starin' at water an' thinkin'. Th'Force speaks through others, n'us as much's one as th'other. Sometimes its hard t'know if it's Th'Force, or Self-Talk, or both at th'same time. But listenin' ain' sommat many do. Mos' jus' do. Act... Then think or liss'en later."
Looking back up at last, "So's... how does y'be a Jedi? Liss'en and try t'do what's right." hand waving "Ain' floatin' rocks or swingin' a lightsaber... It's bein' a good person, eh? Jus' wit' ext'er tools t'does it."
The little rock -- pebble, really -- floats up off of the ground as Lira'una focuses her concentration on it. Surprisingly easily, actually, if the expression on her face is anything to judge by. Maybe, if she kept trying, she might actually start to /believe/ that calming yourself and focusing on the moment made things like that easier... maybe she already was.
Regardless, it wasn't a showy thing. If anything, it seemed to help /keep/ her focus in the moment. It stilled her bouncing knees, her twitching lekku. It calmed her and gave her something to use to drown out not just the rest of the background noise, but the rest of the voices in her head that kept screaming at her -- that she was an imposter, that she wasn't smart enough, that she was too old, that she was too energetic, that she wasn't /like/ the others...
And it helped, in that moment, for her to /hear/ and /understand/ Qutha's words. There was no right way to be a Jedi. She was allowed to be herself -- herself but, perhaps, with more training.
"So..."
She'd heard everything he said. And not once did he give her an /actual/ thing to go do. Or not do. And that made a little quirk of a grin appear at he corner of her lips. The rock floated up and over to her hand, and she turned her palm up, letting it hover just above it.
"You're saying I should... think about it."
A pause, then, her eyes still fixed on that rock.
"So far, it's just been... stealing. What if the guy from the Rebellion asks me to kill someone, some day? What if it's a Sith?"
Her voice is soft, contemplative. There's not a hint of excitement about this, but the /dread/ is tempered as well. Maybe she thought of the question as an inevitability. They were fighting a war, after all. If they ever learned she was a Jedi, wouldn't they try to use her as a weapon? Wouldn't that only make sense?
"You hafta make that choice, Lira. Nobody kin make you decide t'kill. Sayin' some aught else madjer does it, that's a lie for y'self more'n others. Even if a sommat has a blaster t yu's head... Even if somat has a knife t'a child's throat an they's already cuttin' in..." tapping into those emotions and what drew them out before. Letting those thoughts loose to wreck whatever havoc they will. Bit to what end?
"Sith or not... Killin' is killin'. N'you has t'reckon with that decision. Y'kin has others h'ep y'through it. Talk witcha... What if I asked yer t'kill sommat? What if Miss Rey did? Yer the one killin'... not us. Nopt that Rebel boy who's bein' led around by his -cause-." Qutha lets that word hang there for a long moment, watching Lira.
He ticks his pole, a small flick at the wrist, making his bobber dance, "They's don't want a balance'a Light'r Dark. They's wanna 'win', Lira. They want vengeance, n'callit Justice. They wann'er overthrow an Empire an bring back they's own Gub'mint. They's all about passion, n'outrage. They's think with passion. So's, yes. Y'need t'think 'bout it. Yoda's Holocron, you talk t'him, he'll tells yeah Do or Do Not, no try... I's disagree." a line forming between his eyes now and Qutha takes a breath, "We neeeds t'try. Try'n think. Try'n be better. Try'n listen to Th'Force. Try'n think 'bout what we's doin', or what we may be asked t'do... Think ifn' that'd be what Th'Force wants of us. What brings balance?"
"Th'Order is a calling. We serve 'cause th'Force called us. We answer." frowning at the hard questions being proffered. "Th'Rebellion 'pposes th'Sith... that's th'Will'v th'Force. They oppose the Dark, as we do. I never said we cain't work wit'em. But they kin sweep yu's up and drag y'long in their wake." head tilting to one side.
"The Dark Side, it reach's f'more'n more. It's allus hungry. Ne'er satisfied. It's quicker, more seductive. They's numbers greater, but're lesser than th'Jedi." expression crumpling some, "So's we goes where we kin, t'help lessen the suff'rin. We oppose th'Sith where we kin, the Rebels do... n'the Sith stretch theyself so thin, they rip theyself apart..." a somber chuckle running from his lips,
"It soun's ver'passive. Cowardly mayhap. But patience... Patience is who we is. We may strike, but not as they does. We doesn't lash out. We strike, when we must, when it needs t'be done. Not in anger're desp'ration."
Leaning blatantly forward into their conversation, her elbows resting on her knees, Lira hangs on every word.
A calling. /That/ seems to strike a chord that resonates all the way through her. Even her lekku seem to relax, tangling up in each other as she listens to the rest. No longer defensive. Hopeful. Idealistic. Getting ever closer to the answer to a question she hadn't yet asked.
Or... she had. Sort of. It just hadn't been answered clearly. But it was obviously starting to make more sense -- her purpose.
Patience. /That/ was going to be something she had to work on. She'd known that for pretty much her whole life. It just... didn't really matter, before. Not as anything more than a general annoyance to the people around her. Back, back then, she wasn't learning to become some sort of... wizard.
"It doesn't sound... cowardly. I just... I don't understand..."
She purses her lips and sweeps a hand back, plucking the hilt of her stunsaber off of her belt.
"When am I supposed to use /this/ ? Am I supposed to be leaving it locked up in my ship with my robes when I'm not here? I haven't even carried it around with me, since it was given to me."
Lifting his right arm, Qutha motions with the other hand, "I never has it on m'belt. It's up a sleeve. M'Robes, or m'jacket... Y'use it when y'know's its time t'use it. There's no other answer'n that. But I'll teach y'how t'defen' yerself... An how t'use it when y'mus'. How t'make y'own someday."
A small personal indulgence in the force is used to lift the hilt of his saber from where he hides it to his hand, moving to hold it in his open hand to be seen.
"It's a tool as much's a weapon. But they's shouldn' come out - till y'figure it's gonna be neccessary... N'you'll know. Gotta trus' yer instincts. Y'feelin's serve you, trus' em, jus' don' lettem rule you. It's that balance I keep jab'jawin' 'bout. S'always balance. S'why they's so few've us. But th'Force picks you 'cause it thinks y'kin hack it." resting his saber hilt in his lap, both hands wrapped around it. "Some've us... show'ed they's couldn't do it. Fell. But th'Force Gifted them, knowin' it may happen and it planned fer it. Th'Force, it is life itself an'nit does all for a reason. So's you'se here, 'cause the energy that p'petuates the whole galaxy believes in you." head tipping some, as if to look at her through a 'good eye'.
"Might feel intim'datin'... but then y'gots t'think... The cosmos believes in yer, missy."
A pleased little laugh escapes Lira's lips when the lightsaber hilt comes flashing out of its secret hiding place, one of the first /true/ signs of enjoyment since she'd sat down. She was still relaxing.. slowly but surely.. into the conversation, into her new role, and into her understanding of the Force.
Or, at least, her understanding that it was okay not to know everything.
But then she's back to nodding, sobering at the mention of the ones that fell -- feeling the brief rush of panic that the notion sent through her -- and taking a breath to steady herself. Calm. She could do this. One step at a time. One day at a time. She could do this.
/The cosmos believes in yer./
The laugh that escapes this time is louder, more free, filled with all of that pent up anxiety and self doubt that seems to more easily float away from her, now. She shifts to clip her saber hilt back onto her belt, and then she's shifting, rocking up onto her knees and leaning forward to hug the man around the shoulders.
Because she's Lira.
And Qutha is family.
"Thank you."
The squeeze lasts for a bit before she settles back again, her smile for him warm and sincere. There's a kind of rekindled enthusiasm in her eyes.
"I'm going to make you proud of me, Qutha," she promises.
As ever, when hugged, he clearly had no idea what to do. But he manages reaches with one arm to rest a hand on her back. There's no discomfort, but he's clearly unsure of what to do. Flushing green at his cheeks and sinking back once he's released. He doesn't fend her off though, didn't shrink back or try to avoid it.
He just doesn't seem to know how to receive the affection.
"Lira, I's already proud'a yer." looking down at his hands again, "Yer a kind person, an y'clearly care about whatcher do, who yer gonna be. How t'be that person." looking back up, Qutha's expression is open, smiling again, "I've a feelin' yer gonna go far n'do good things, 'cause it seems y'wanna make sure y'do good. Not just be viewed's good."
He settles back again, looking to his fishing pole that had been forgotten and had been drifting towards the water - motioning to 'summon' it to his hand, looking somewhat embarrassed for his mindlessness.
Lira blinks a couple of times after those last words, the confusion clear on her face until another giggle bubbles up.
"Why would I want to be viewed as good if I'm /not/ good?"
It's /actually/ a sincere question. Even the thought of it still pulls the corner of her lips into an amused grin. "I mean... I guess I get it. People pretend to be things all the time. I grew up around circuses. There were liars and cheats and con artists and..." She rolls her eyes. "I learned to pick them out pretty well. They always had a kind of... energy about them, you know?"
She shrugs.
"I never wanted to be like that. Things happened all the time. People stealing things from each other. /Love/ triangles and... /other/ shapes. And for a lot of people, that was their whole life. Just trying to get something over on somebody else. Looking for /love/ in all of the /very wrong/ places. I wanted no part of it. I learned to tune them completely out, ignore them. I was an acrobat and a dancer. That's all I ever wanted to be."
A sheepish little grin and a small roll of her shoulders, then.
"Well, until now. Now, I /really/ want to be a Jedi. And a good one." A soft giggle. "In all senses of the word."
She smiles again.
"I know I've said this before, but I'm really glad the Force brought us together. Oh! And, that reminds me. I'm going to go talk to some of the people I know at the Lost Circus and see if we can do a full lights-on production. I mean, I'm not a regular performer there, but I can come back as a guest act. And we can sell tickets to it. You /can't/ be the only one that doesn't want to sit in the dark. Maybe they'll discover a whole new market."
He almost looks like he was going to protest, mouth beginning to drop open before he halts, reeling in an empty line as he reels in his thoughts. His saber hilt still resting in lap.
"Thankee kin'ly fer that, Lira." head bowing and Qutha having to suss himself out some, "An see, y'see what I mean, though I don't think I's always knows how t'proper say it." his saber finally being tucked away up his sleeve as before and the zelosian sits a long moment, hands folded and seeming to look not quite at anything.
It's when it might feel awkwardly long or like he'd drifted off with his eyes open, or that he might have just otherwise frozen up when he speaks again, "So's... Yer seem t'git who we is, what we is... What'd you want me t'teach y'hows t'do first?" head canting to the aide, "I kin say what I wanner teach first, 'cause that's what I think's y'd wanna know. But, the importan' question is what d'you wanna know firat?"
