Log:Lira: Meditation Practice 2
After storming out of the enclave, Lira goes wandering and finds Aryn Cortess
OOC Date: September 22, 2023
Location: Korrigan Park, Nar Shaddaa
Participants: Lira'una, Aryn Cortess
Aryn is seated at the park beneath the shelter of one of many pavilions. Stone by design, its grey exterior had given way to green like moss thanks to the frequent rains; rains like today's. Aryn's bench was right at the edge of the awning, allowing for one to stick their feet out to the elements. It typically was not something one would see even here in the Corellian district, but Aryn was not an ordinary visitor.
So she had her boots pulled off, and the cool rain puddled beneath pale slender feet. Preoccupied with tracing small circles through the rippling water using naught but her painted toes, Aryn seemed relive something of her past while she occupied this place of near-quiet and reflection.
Naturally the sounds of the city were not so easily conquered or covered up, so the occasional honks and revving of speeders overhead cut through the peaceful ambience of rain and quiet. Aryn hooked her gloved hands upon the edge of her bench and observed quietly with a child-like gesture of experiencing the wet ground with little notion paid to threat.
Rain pelts the neon-lit streets of Nar Shaddaa as Lira walks, the weight of her recent confrontation with Master Qutha pressing heavily on her mind. Each step feels automatic, her direction guided not by conscious thought but by the subtle nudges of the Force. The hood of her black robe shields her from the droplets, but the dampness clings to her, mirroring the emotions that had threatened to overwhelm her. The streets are a blur of color and sound, but Lira's world feels gray and muted, the noise of the city a distant hum.
Without realizing it, she finds herself standing at the entrance of the Corellian district's city park. The contrast is immediate: the chaotic cacophony of Nar Shaddaa gives way to the sound of raindrops gently hitting large tree leaves and the occasional chirp of some distant alien bird. The lushness of the park is a stark contrast to the metal and concrete world outside its borders. Her feet move her along winding pathways, past trees from Felucia with their iridescent blooms and delicate arches from Daefoa that seem to reach for the moon's dim light.
She's drawn to a water fountain, where the raindrops create small ripples on the water's surface, distorting the reflection of the surrounding flora. Sitting on the edge, Lira lets out a heavy sigh, watching as the rain dances atop the water. The holographic lamp posts begin to illuminate, casting a gentle blue glow across the park. From a distance, droid lights start their entrancing dance to soft, distant music, a mesmerizing combination of colors and rhythm.
CorSec security drones hover nearby, their blue and white lights blinking intermittently, offering a subtle reminder of the balance between serenity and surveillance in the park.
Taking a deep breath, Lira tries to release the tension in her shoulders. The Force led her here, to this place of respite amidst chaos. The rain, the lights, and the tranquil surroundings offer a moment of reflection. Her lavender fingers trace once more through the surface of the water, her attention coaxed up and onward, her mind -- finally -- blissfully quiet as ambles towards a pavilion that had been in sight since she reached the fountain.
...A pavilion that, when those blue eyes of hers finally seem to regain their focus, she's only a mere few meters from, her young, lavender face peering out from within that black hood, her purple lips and expressive eyes doing nothing to hide the surprise on her features as she stands, nearly face to face, with the Queen of Alderaan.
"Aryn..."
The word is a mere breath -- a gasp rather than a greeting -- and even that seems to shift her expression more towards being mortified by her own use of the woman's first name.
"Y--Your Majesty, I mean.." says the girl of only nineteen, for whom going as high as New Vertica would be a culture-shock, and who obviously had nothing in the realm of preparation for the etiquette of meeting the Queen of a planet, much less a Sith Lord, in the wild... even if she had been secretly looking forward to the day she might see Aryn again.
In truth, Aryn knew well before Lira arrived that she approached. Such were caveats of having a harmonious relationship with the vast, interconnected webs of the Force. Aryn's own presence was obscured from it, like a rock standing rebellious against an otherwise flowing stream, it went around her none the wiser. Feigning surprise, the blonde peers up at the use of her name, then the honorific.
She remains seated. "Lady Aryn would suffice in this setting. There is not much for a Queen to do on Nar Shaddaa, and addressing one as such, even harmlessly, could lead to consequences. -- Regardless, it is good to see you again, Miss Lira'una." Aryn had a sharp intellect and memory, she /never/ forgot a face.
"What solace does one seek in the midst of a storm, I wonder; are your thoughts reflective of the surroundings? Stormy. Eager to wash away what is and start again. What better comfort is there?"
It was the greeting that brought Lira a little closer, though she didn't tread as far as the shelter of the woman's pavilion. Where she remained, the rain continued to fall on her, pattering against the top of her robed head and shoulders. It wasn't a torrential downpour, but it was enough to accentuate exactly what Aryn suggested-- the metaphor for the mood that had originally driven her out of the hidden Jedi Enclave.
She might have had more control on her emotions in this instant than she'd had when she stormed out, but Lira's hold on calm was tenuous on the best of days. The fact that she'd managed to calm down at all was nothing short of a miracle.
"Lady Aryn," comes the young Twi'lek's acknowledgement along with a little, appreciative nod. It helped her. Being given clear guidance made her feel less awkward, helped some of the tension leave her shoulders, and the mention of it being good to see her seems to take the rest of it on a soft, relieved breath.
"It's... you can... just Lira's fine. Or whatever you want," she manages, her voice trailing off in a soft, self-deprecating laugh. "I mean... I wouldn't try to tell you what to do..."
Okay, so maybe not /all/ of the tension.
It's those last questions that has Lira, pursing her lips, though, as her blue eyes turned guiltily down towards one of the puddles near her feet. Aside from the obvious awkwardness of just unburdening herself on a Queen, was it wise to open up to a Sith Lord about how she was feeling?
Was there anyone better to understand? Qutha certainly didn't seem to.
And, frankly, it wasn't like she had anyone else to talk to about it.
"Qutha's... tying to teach me to clear my mind." A soft, almost sad laugh leaves her lips when she looks up again to find Aryn. "I don't even know that I can." Of course, she had just been doing a pretty good job of it -- not that she'd even noticed. "There's too much just... bouncing around that I can't figure out how to not think about."
A pause, then, for just the briefest moments.. the space held by the pensive look on her features.
"If I ever saw you again, I wanted to think you for talking to me. It helped me... it gave me perspective." A little twist of those purple lips, then, into a wry smile. "And I loved meeting your son. The galaxy would be better off if there were more beings with his thoughtfulness."
"I appreciate you sharing your gratitude, and the comments concerning my young son. He will grow to be a good man, but humility is a requirement. Being born of circumstance is no excuse to forget kindness or respect. Both can be given freely," She explains before patting against the bench where an open spot was. "Come, join me."
Turning her gaze out toward the rain, the older noble continued to use her toes to trace in the puddle. Her expression changed to something thoughtful as she considered the padawan's predicament. "Clearing ones mind sounds simpler than it does in practice. How does one silence the mind? The Jedi rely upon the tenets of their code to achieve this empty state. Each phrase is to signify a step in pushing away the clutter that fills this space between our ears." Aryn points a gloved finger and presses it against her own temple.
"A jedi's strength is said to flow with the Force, but in order to draw from it and understand its current, you have to feel it. Earliest lessons about the force is about dedicating yourself to understanding what bridges your connection, then how to make it a stronger foundation. For instance, as a child learning to walk, balance is not something inherently mastered. It requires learning to sit up, crawl, stand without falling, and taking the first step. Each action a stepping stone to a larger picture, each just as important as the one before it, and all of them required to maintain the focus of a Jedi Knight."
"Permit me a moment to share another lesson with you about the Force..."
There was nothing in the way of hesitation to stop Lira from moving closer once she was invited. She stepped up into the pavilion and, once finally free of the drizzling rain, reached lavender fingers up to push back the hood of her robe. Her lekku slithered free almost at once, resting against the dark, moist fabric which seemed to do a remarkable job of keeping the rest of her mostly dry. And warm.
"Thank you," offers quietly when she takes the seat, brushing the robe enough out of the way so she can turn to face the Queen and fold her legs -- crisscross, like a child might. There was no sign of the stunsaber, though Aryn was sure to be able to sense it in a hidden pocket of her robe. The only hindrance to the motion seemed to be the thigh-holstered DL-18 which, given its position, wasn't really a hindrance at all.
Lira tucked her hands into the circle of her legs as she listened, elbows straight, her shoulders narrowing. It made her look younger -- like she was preparing for story time.
And she hung on every word.
If she was this attentive to Aryn, one could only imagine how raptly she must listen when Qutha speaks... and yet, there's understanding. Relief, maybe, even, at having it explained in a way that she could begin to understand. There's little nods, a subtle shift and straightening of her posture, and most of all a /thirst/ to be told more.
"Please..." She doesn't just encourage, she pleads.
"Feeling the Force is not something you achieve. It is inherent to you just like your other senses. Touch, taste, sight, hearing...understanding this concept first is important because the Force is not something you lose connection with. It binds everything together; you, me, this bench, the air, the rain, the clouds..." Aryn trails off.
"Close your eyes and focus only on the sound of my voice." Aryn does not change her posture or how she is oriented, she just watches the puddle below and speaks, her expression thoughtful, still. "Turn your focus inward and listen as each breath you take is drawn in and released. Do this several times and allow your focus to hone in on you. Listen to the beat of your heart, feel your pulse as blood is pushed through your veins."
After several moments, Aryn spoke again. "Now touch the Force in the way you know how and draw its influence to your center. Mold it like a bubble, pulling its mass wide so as to encompass you. Imagine this bubble is a filter, a curtain you step through to take you some place else. As you do this, say, 'There is no emotion, there is peace'. As you step into this bubble and the influence of the Force washes over you, allow it to cleanse away all feeling. All doubt. All worry. Give yourself to this influence and allow it to fill you. From the top of your head, to the tips of your toes..."
There's no hesitation in Lira's obedience to being told to close her eyes, either -- a girl that had just stormed out in frustration on one Master still eager to learn, desperate to disprove the doubts that plagued... thoughts that made her wonder whether she was even meant to be a Jedi or if it had all been a mistake, made her wonder if she shouldn't have given in the nagging fear of failure and given up on being a Padawan.
But she did as she was told. She tried to close everything else out -- to focus only on Aryn's voice instead of the sound of the storm that continued to rage, instead of the little niggling thoughts that told her she was wasting her time.
She breathed slowly, In and out, trying to move her focus smoothly to her breath. The slow thrumming of her own heart.
Molding a bubble... feeling it around her. All of this gave her mind something to /do/ besides dwell on all of the things she /couldn't/ do.. or had done wrong.
"There is no emotion, there is peace..."
Her voice is quiet, almost distant sounding, her thoughts somewhere other than her words.
She was finding it. It wasn't easy for her. It certainly wasn't quick. But she was trying... giving herself over to the sensation of the Force being drawn into her, stepping into that bubble of peace.. not a thought left for the fact that she was sitting in the middle of Nar Shaddaa, in a storm, next to Aryn Cortess... just the peace of it all.
"This state you find yourself in, this technique if you will, is known as becoming one with the Force. It is the basic foundation of all techniques, the starting point of all knowledge, /this/ is where you stand without falling." Aryn says, her voice still soft, the tone of a teacher.
"There is no ignorance, there is knowledge," Aryn states, "..the next step. To know is the very opposite of ignorance. Jedi, from this state, seek knowledge of what is, not what is to be, or what has not come to pass. Only what is. This path begins with you, and it expands to your surroundings. Much like your other senses, you must come to interpret the Force. For instance, when you touch ice, you know that it is cold. When you touch water, you know that it is wet. The Force is not much different, but it extends beyond the confines of other senses."
"The bubble, the essence which you have enveloped yourself; push it out now. Incorporate your surroundings and tie in your other senses. Through the Force, increase your perception. Your surroundings become an extension of yourself. This bench; you can feel it differently through the force. The wind, although you may not see it, you can feel it upon your skin. Now look upon it through the Force. View your surroundings from behind the lens of this bubble as you extend your perception by pushing it further out. You will know you have achieved this when you /feel/ your surroundings moving around you; when you can /see/ how the force connects everything."
"Like I said before, knowledge is what you know. Preparing yourself, no matter the task, begins in this way. Walking into a mysterious room; do you do so in ignorance? What does your code say?"
"There is no ignorance, there is knowledge."
It's an answer, quiet, as if from a far away place, only after Lira has listened to everything Aryn has to explain about the next phase of her meditation -- the next step in finding her center and becoming one with the Force.
With her eyes still closed, she lifted her delicate chin into a slight breeze, and her lekku curled up her back around her shoulders. Her lips part ever so slightly as if tasting the air, or simply drawing in a slow, deliberate breath...
It's not just emptiness on her face. It's... fascination... a kind of peace that stops short of joy, but it's like someone that given the gift of sight or hearing for the first time. It's awe.
"I've never felt... not like this..."
So warm and tranquil, her voice is filled with the same reverence that's visible in her expression.
"This is the living force. A symbiote agreement of all matter and energy moving with a current of energy. There is no limit on how far you may stretch your bubble of perception. By theory alone, where ever the Force flows, you may follow. It is in this state one may encounter other sources of energy. Surface thoughts, ambitions, passion, emotion of all forms. Pain, suffering, death."
Aryn continues, her voice maintaining the same tone. "Things experienced in this state are raw, imprinting upon your mind as if projected through you. Images may pass your minds eye projecting phantoms of emotion, of pain, of pleasure, despair, joy, loss, belonging, and emptiness. It is easy to be drawn to these things, to adopt them as your own, but you must remain separated. Being a Jedi often requires inaction. You are a silent passenger, monitoring the balance of these things."
"For where there is light, there is dark; where there is life, there is death. A Jedi seeks balance in all things, and to give into these projected feelings is to become distracted. There is no passion, there is serenity."
Aryn shifts slightly, settling back against the bench to bring her focus upon the padawan. "Bask in the living force, listen to its projections, but do not give into the emotions. You are but a vessel cast out upon a vast sea filled with life. Observe its surface, its life, and the interconnectivity of emotion and purpose, but do not let it tempt you into its depths. Remember, your code, and your purpose as a Jedi. The path to passion, to emotion, to possession are dark ones. Each time you dive beneath the surface in search of these motivations, returning becomes more of a challenge."
There's a certain... lightness, as if Lira could, at any moment, simply lift from the bench she was sitting on and float away on that cool, humid breeze that passed through the park. In some ways, it was as if she was little more than a leaf carried along on the currents, but it wasn't the wind itself that carried her -- it was the flow of the Force around her that she drifted along with.
Not unlike the way Aryn had been toeing the puddle, Lira was herself testing these waters -- if not for the first time, at least in a new way, with a new appreciation for things she didn't understand about it, before.
The way it moved.
The way it felt.
It had guided her for as long as she could remember, nudged this way or that by something she couldn't see or put a finger on -- the need to step back onto the sidewalk just before a speeder raced past, the quick grab of a trapeze that she didn't see but she /felt/ . She hadn't done it consciously.
But this was like opening her eyes to a hidden world, where she could finally /see/ all the little eddies that nudged things this way and that. She didn't understand the reasons. She couldn't interpret all of their meanings. She didn't understand everything that was happening... but for the moment, she was pleased just to be able to feel it.
"Is this..." Her voice is still so soft and quiet. It's so unlike Lira, nearly a rambunctious budle of unstoppable energy, but now so lost in this other world. "...what you feel... all the time? Do you still have to work to feel it?"
One of her hands lifts, and she rotates it -- a few meters away, a passing leaf lifts and dips into a puddle like a ladle, scooping out a bug that was struggling and depositing it on the grass nearby, a pleased little smile on her lips. She hadn't even opened her eyes.
"As time goes on, you learn to strengthen this foundation. With familiarity, then mastery, this is what you sense when you are at one with the Force. The force is with you, and you are with the Force," Aryn says, echoing her old friend's saying.
"There are larger steps, more complex interpretations of the force, but it all stems from what you are experiencing now. This state. So in early meditation exercises, your goal is to achieve this. To increase your perception, to embody the tenets of your Jedi code and remind yourself what filter you must pass through to remain neutral, balanced, and focused."
"Your enemies will seek to disrupt your connection with the force, to distract you with notions of self, attachment, fear, doubt, and despair. Mastery manifests when you can allow these distractions to pass through you. That brings us to the final tenets of the code. The scope of the force is much larger than any of us are capable of perceiving. We may stretch, and stretch, and stretch our senses, but it matters little in the scale of things. This energy, it binds the universe together, and in all that chaos, you must devote yourself to your course. Remind yourself, despite all the noise you may hear, 'There is no chaos, there is harmony.'"
"A large cycle, churning with cosmic energy, operating at three tiers of perception. The first, you have discovered; the Living Force. There are others."
"We must come to terms with the ultimate truth. The truth of time, the truth of death. In the balance of all things, there is life, and then there is death. For those who share the essence of the Force, death is only the next step of your journey. As your twilight approaches, night must eventually fall. For the Jedi, fear of death, the fear to lose something.. fall under the shadow of greed, components of the dark side. Rejoice in the death of others, do not mourn them. Their energy, their essence, passes onto the cosmic force, returning to the purposeful cycle of all things."
"As the Jedi say, 'There is no death, there is the Force."
