Zhu Yan

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Yan of Family Zhu

Title: The Boss
Race: Human
Sex: Male
Occupation: Smuggler Master
Profession: Captain
Homeworld: Thyferra
Organization: The Shadowport
Ship: Redline


Logs
"Nevermind him. He's just an idiot."

-- Sapphira Solari

Suspected Origins

On the day Yan was born the nurses all gathered 'round, and they gazed in wide wonder at the joy they had found. The head nurse spoke up, said "leave this one alone." She could tell right away that he was bad to the bone.

Hypothetical History

You want to know more about Zhu Yan?

  • Zhu Yan runs many goods throughout the galaxy without paying duties, including but not limited to: ship parts, foodstuffs, medicine, spice, luxury goods, stolen bacta, electronics, and other sundries.
  • Zhu Yan isn't a very honest individual and will never tell the truth as a matter of principle.
  • Zhu Yan is quick in a firefight and doesn't hesitate to kill enemies in cold blood.
  • Zhu Yan will happily loan people money, at the modest rate of sixty percent interest.
  • Zhu Yan isn't a very loyal friend. He wouldn't think twice about stabbing you in the back.

Last Known Appearance

Before you stands the King of Corellia himself. Six foot four and built like Adonis, Zhu Yan is everything it means to be a man. His face was formed from the clay of the gods, arousing all ladies who bear witness to his rakish form. His hair is perfectly coiffed and needs no maintenance from when he wakes up to when he takes a female to bed with him. He is perenially shirtless, his eight-pack of abs delighting all that see them, and his muscles are so mighty that you can use them to shatter boulders.

He is dressed in the loincloth of royalty, coloured the purple of nobility, and on his head is a mighty crown, forged of beskar'gam and set with krayt pearls and Corusca gems. Witness him, witness him and cry out in joy!

Presumed Associates

Alleged Vessels

See: Redline
See: BWC-HF-001
Other vessels include:

  • T-70 X-Wing Heartbreak 1
  • XG-1 Star Wings Heartbreak 2 and Heartbreak 3 (which he loans out as needed)
  • The sole PLT-5MR Planet Smasher Heavy Bomber, which does exactly what it says on the tin.

Theoretical RP Hooks

  • A Riddle Wrapped in a Mystery Inside an Enigma - Zhu Yan's entire history, personality, and actions are built upon mountains and mountains of lies. His homeworld, background, even real name are best described as "multiple choice". This of course leads to mountains of shenanigans. Have you been caught up in one of Yan's lies? Do you want to?
  • We Do Anything, Anytime, Anywhere - Yan is an utter self-serving bastard that doesn't turn down paying jobs if they're worth the risk (and sometimes if they aren't and he's bored). Need something done? Will it cause EJ to dump Yan in disgust? Call 1800-LUV-YAN today!
  • Who Runs Barter Town? - Yan is a man that can get anything for the right price. If you need it, he has it, and if he doesn't, he will, and possibly in bulk!
  • Domo Arigato - When Yan's impulsiveness wins out against his survival instinct, cybernetics happen. His left arm including the entire shoulder is synthetic, as is part of his right leg.

Hastily-Compiled Mugshots

  • Zhu Yan can rightly lay claim to the title of action hero. Here he is after wiping out the hundred-man strong MacTavish clan using only an old rifle and seven rounds. Two of them misfired.
  • Here is proof of Yan's majesty. Upon asking a random street artist to draw his visage, the artist was struck blind. In a prophetic fever dream he created this magnificent piece, valued at several billion Republic credits. The artist never got his sight back, but after witnessing Zhu Yan, he had seen all there was to see.

Possible Trivia

  • Name is in surname-firstname format. His first name is Yan.
  • The name "Zhu Yan" is a patently false alias, one of many. His real name is a secret known only to one other individual on grid.
  • Yan often touts himself as a Corellian, but does it so impotently that only one person has ever fallen for the ruse. Yan knows of only three individuals that know his true homeworld and wishes the number were smaller.
  • Owns a distinctive Civil War era K-16 Bryar Pistol, gifted to him by Gren Delede and modified for better targeting and insane power.
  • A recent poll has come to the conclusion that Zhu Yan does not know the definition of 'subtlety' let alone how to implement it effectively.
  • Smells like how a movie theater carpet tastes.
  • When in doubt, every word out of his mouth is a lie.

Rumours

Ladies: https://gifs.com/gif/qxV5Dk

<Arcadia> Sassy Heathen Stavros says, "Zhu Yan is the 0.5x hyperdrive of love: expensive as hell, high maintenance, and it's a tough call whether it's worse when it explodes or when the authorities realize just dirty you're flying... with Zhu Air"

<Public> Galactic President Oriana says, "He'll lure you in with his crumpets, seduce you with his tea. Before you know it you're in a maid outfit scrubbing the beer from his metal shirts"

<Arcadia> Sassy Heathen Stavros texts Kasia: "hows hex? take pics! btw pls bring 1 right arm xoxo <3"
<Arcadia> Kasia Ciph texts Stavros: I've been gone less than a day, what have you guys done?!
<Arcadia> Sassy Heathen Stavros says, "You have received a multimedia message from Stavros Niarkos. Would you like to open it? Yan's_shoulder_socket.jpg"
<Arcadia> Kasia Ciph deletes message.

<Arcadia> Siya says, "Zhu Yan, you poor soul. Siya has no interest in worshipping you. Ever."

Cujo (C) pages: You immoral bastard.

<Arcadia> Couch Repairman Stavros says, "This is one of those cultural misunderstandings, I think."
<Arcadia> Couch Repairman Stavros says, "That, or Zhu Yan is enabling Kelnas's drinking problem"

<Arcadia> Kasia Ciph says, "ZHU YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN"
<Arcadia> Hex says, "What a man"
<Arcadia> Kasia Ciph says, "That made me think of the Gaston song."
<Arcadia> Kasia Ciph says, "Now we need a song for Zhu Yan, what a man, in the style of that."
<Arcadia> Hex says, "Noooo ooooooonne flies like Zhu Yan no one lies like Zhu Yan"
<Arcadia> Kasia Ciph says, "In a shooting match nobody dies like Zhu Yan?"
<Arcadia> Hex says, "No one's flirting takes as many tries as Zhu Yan"
<Arcadia> Kelnas says, "Zhu Yan! What a man! Drinks booze by the van. He can sing, He can dance! All while sporting a Full body Tan!"
<Arcadia> Couch Bandit Javi Malek says, "In a pissing match, no one pisses like Zhu Yan!"
<Arcadia> Kasia Ciph says, "In a bluffing match nobody cries like Zhu Yan"
<Arcadia> Couch Bandit Javi Malek says, "No one carves ice like Zhu Yan!"
<Arcadia> Hex says, "No one's got lice like Zhu Yan!"
<Arcadia> Kasia Ciph says, "Or shoots dice like Zhu Yan"
<Arcadia> Hex says, "No one's hair's as incredibly nice as Zhu Yan"
<Arcadia> Wizard of Aus Zhu Yan says, "You are talking about someone who's phone ringtone literally starts with the words 'I am perfection'."
<Arcadia> Wizard of Aus Zhu Yan says, "So please, continue massaging my ego."

Tylin lowers her voice to sound more like Hex and probably fails badly but she does it anyway "Don't say Yan is cute again though, I might throw up in my mouth. Yan's a rash-burned assbasket."

Naelyn just shakes his head slowly. "There are no good or right answers. At the end of the day, I believe you to be a self-centered asshole who has his moments. You are highly talented and I know you are a survivor and if push comes to shove, you will make the call that favors you losing the fewest chips. There are as many different variables to you than there are names people call you. So you, answer the question based on where your heart is, and that is all I ask."

Hex draws on his cigarette as he mulls this over, then exhales smoke and remarks, "Ka, you should eat something," he agrees with Reddie. "I'd offer help, Yan, but I got nothin', unless you want abuse or encouragement. Or encouragement, but yelled at you in an abusive way?" This is clearly the right option, so Hex yells across the hangar, "REPAIR THAT SHIT, YOU GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL DISASTER! REPAIR THE SHIT OUT OF IT! YOU'RE DOING GREAT YOU CATASTROPHICALLY UNIQUE SPECIMEN OF MODERATELY TALENTED HUMANITY!" Hex taps ash off the cigarette, then smiles at Naelyn. "All of us are terrible. Probably all of us should treat the droids a little better, too. Except for that shit one that Nyla owns that keeps attacking me."

<Defiance> Tess Ul'Datha says, "As if we need to spy on any of you... Tarion does something stupid, Hex does something self destructive, Yan does something questionable."

Sar Yavok (Sar) pages: You just need to join the Res and head up our Y-Wings.
You paged Sar Yavok with 'I will ICly steal and sell all your ships before disappearing with the rumour that "The FO got him"'
Sar Yavok (Sar) pages: We'll hold a vigil for you, you fucking hero.

<Public> Eilam says, "Hello"
<Public> Honest Zhu Yan says, "Is it me you're looking for?"
<Public> Cujo says, "I can see it in your eyes?"
<Public> Honest Zhu Yan says, "I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR SMI-I-ILE."
Announcement: Cujo shouts, "YOU'RE ALL I'VE EVER WANTED, AND MY ARMS ARE OPEN WIIIIIIDE"
<Public> Honest Zhu Yan says, "'CAUSE YOU KNOW JUST WHAT TO SAY"
Announcement: Cujo shouts, "AND YOU KNOW JUST WHAT TO DOOOOO"
<Public> Honest Zhu Yan says, "AND I WANNA TELL YOU SO MUCH"
Announcement: Cujo shouts, "i loooove you..... *finger to ur lips*"
Announcement: GLOBAL: Admin shouts, "Cujo has issued 50 XP to all players currently online and less than 20 minutes idle."
GLOBAL: Admin gave you 50 experience points.

-(OOC)- Zhu Yan says, "Guys if we die I want you to know that I caused it."
-(OOC)- Grom says, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED."

"I hate this and I hate you, Yan," Ryo says, looking over at his partner in various crimes. "I just want you to know that. If I die. And /especially/ if you die. If anybody deserves to know that they're hated on the day of their death; it's Zhu Yan."

<Defiance> Stavros says, "Zhu Yan is a scoundrel with a heart of gold, only he sold the gold at a pawn shop to pay off a loan shark whom he owed money to because of losing at blackjack and winning at hookers."
<Defiance> Rheisa Dirleel says, "Zhu, put that on your wiki"
<Defiance> Stavros says, "Exactly _what_ he won from the hookers, I will leave mercifully unsaid."

<The Shadowport-OOC> Village Idiot Zhu Yan says, "Legit though, you had Haley Bennett for however fucking long and now I can't actually conceptualize anyone else."
<The Shadowport-OOC> Surname Pending Sapphira says, "It's fair. But now I'm like hmm maybe you're right"
<The Shadowport-OOC> Surname Pending Sapphira says, "Which is the dumbest fucking thought I've ever had"

<Corellians-OOC> Jax Greystorm says, "Yan is my favorite Corellian. I'm so lucky to be on this channel with him."